Hello? ...... N-No I'm sorry who are you looking for? Who is this? No I am a psychiatrist not an ophthalmologist. You're IN the hospital? How did you get this number? Well no you need to talk to your medical team in order to call a consult, first of all. Second of all, I'm still a psychiatrist.
Hangs up. Dials another number.
Hello can I please speak to the nurse for Ms. Smith? (pause) Yes hello this is Dr. Psychiatrist and I just received a call from Ms. Smith asking me to see her. She told me you told her to call me and gave her my number. Patients do not call for their own consults. Yes, well although they are both inside the skull they are unrelated. Goodbye.
Hangs up. Looks at us.
Welcome to my life.
