The life I've chosen

I found this blog a few weeks ago through happenstance. I was looking for recipes and stumbled upon one for a basil and tomato risotto that looked delicious. It was. Then I poked around the blog some more and found another recipe for a basil, sweet corn, zucchini gnocchi dish which ended up also being delicious. 2/2 is pretty damn good for me when it comes to cooking. Usually I mess something up because the recipe is too difficult to follow/requires cooking skills I don't have or it just ends up coming out not nearly as tasty as the picture implies.

Anyway, I ended up poking around this girl's blog a bit more and learned a bit about her life. She's in her late 20s and seems to have everything figured out. I couldn't figure out what (if anything) she does for a living. I know she graduated college, but after that I am unsure. She makes delicious, healthy meals every day for every meal and prides herself on ensuring a home cooked, delicious meal is there for her husband every night when he gets home. She also runs a lot. She only got into running after college and yet she seems to be pretty content with it. She's gorgeous and skinny and has a lot to write about.

I thought a lot last night about the life I've chosen. The doctor life doesn't really leave room for delicious meals cooked and assembled three times a day. It also doesn't leave room for the exercising I'd love to do. My husband won't have home cooked meals delivered to him every night. My husband probably won't even see me every night. I wish I could exercise now, but the 1-1 1/2 hours it warranted just couldn't be given up. I wish I could cook lovely meals all the time. I take advantage of breaks like this to learn to cook new things that hopefully will be quick enough to throw together once school starts up again.

The horizon looks pretty busy for me. Boards are coming up. That means 12 hour study days for 6-7 weeks with barely time during the day to scarf down the microwave meal I'll probably make. Then 3rd year starts with clinical rotations. I'm sure some of them will allow me a month of more down time than others, but the horror stories I've heard about surgery and Ob/Gyn don't leave me with a happy feeling that I'll be able to be domestic. Residency should be fun. Thirty hour on call shifts and barely any time to shower and sleep never mind feed a hungry husband and take a brisk 45 minute jog.

I'm totally okay with the life I've chosen. I couldn't do a stay at home mom, domestic lifestyle. I do wish there were more balance. I wouldn't mind being a little more domestic. Maybe one day I'll figure it all out like that blog girl. I won't ever be able to cook all the meals, keep my body perfect, and maintain a blog in addition to my bustling career, but hopefully the balance I find will keep me happy nonetheless.